dangling the carrot (cake)

New Year-schmoo year

Yeah, I've been thinking about my resolutions...but I decided I'd better take care of this other pesky issue I have first...

Tomorrow is my 10th anniversary.

Funny how we chose the single most hungover day in the entire world to celebrate our love...trust me, I feel the irony. What was I thinking...? Oh yeah, anniversary of our first date - whatever...

So, here I sit, getting ready for the big One Zero...

No, obviously, I'm not - I'm talking to you! Do I look ready?

I have put our last bottle of wedding day champagne in the fridge, I have purchased the food for dinner and I have 3 recipes for carrot cake to decide from. (yes, our wedding cake was carrot cake...do I need more crap about that? At least there weren't raisins or nuts in it)

Now this is normal for me - 3 recipes, one cake. I'll just take what I like out of each of them, combine into one and *poof* - perfect!!

That really does work for me, no, really. In regular recipes. Baking? Not so much. Someone once explained to me that "baking is a science. You have to actually use those things in your drawer called measuring cups..." What a bastard. Never date a chef. Such prima donnas...

I keep thinking - do we really need to have a carrot cake tomorrow? Because I probably won't be devastated...it's only 10 years, right? Maybe on our 20th...

Crap. I need to make the cake, huh?

AJ just informed me that he does like carrots and he does like cake, BUT he is really unsure as to the viability of the two combined. (that's what he meant!)

Yes, he's going to be here too. No, I didn't get a babysitter. Yes, I totally suck. A friend of mine, offered to take him for the afternoon. I really considered it. But then I had to take into consideration that she is spending that time period A -at her mom's house (B.I.T.C.H. from hell, excuse my language, but she really is!) and B -with her new, just visiting from California, internet boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I am recently converted to believing in meeting people online(just friends in my case, promise)BUT - Little Missy already has a sordid internet romance history and has the 2 kids to prove it. Just saying, maybe not the best time to send my junior-troll-in-training out into the world.

Does being a good Mom make me a bad wife?

Am I making this anniversary overly important? Maybe hubby will just eat the seafood, play a few games of pool and be happy...

Damn, I'm making the cake.

I will get up in the morning, shower, do my hair (gasp), dress nicely (double gasp) and celebrate 10 years with a wonderful man and 5 years with the greatest family, ever.

(that damned cake better be awesome, I hate champagne!)

Happy New Years, ya'll!!!

Out of the mouth of Babes...

AJ is at work with me. Again. God, I can't wait for school to start again!! (I'm sure my bosses are holding their breath, as well)

Anyhow, it is a small home office and the bathroom is right across from my desk. He asks if he can go potty (they have to ask at school, so he asks at home, cute, huh? Makes me feel so powerful)
I said yes, of course...

AJ - "ooohhh, ahhh....rrrrrrrr - oh yeaaaah!" (I don't know where he picked up the porno soundtrack for the pooping. I really don't. It's both funny and terrifying)

Me - (thanking God no one else is here yet) "Are you done, yet?"

AJ - "I think so" (looking back) "wow, that sure is a lot of poop, Mama. Did you bring your camera?"

Me - (WTH?!) "No. We do not take pictures of poop."

AJ - (looking at me like I'm crazy) "I don't want poop pictures! I want a picture of Stella." (office cat)

Me - "Oh. Well. Umm....That sure is a lot of poop...."

So...camera phone...



And he's getting married.

Just found out. I had the little girl in question and her older brother over all day yesterday. What I thought (at the time) was a cute little snuggle at nap time turns out was that little floozy's attempt to steal my baby!! Blonde hussy...(oooo, been watching too much Momma's Boys!!)

I'm joking, love that little girl. She spent the evening in the kitchen with me - she has verbal issues and doesn't speak very well - but she asked about every single thing in the kitchen, while I was cooking. She wanted to touch, smell, taste everything! I was so impressed! And it was really fun to have a little girl around.

They love eachother..(even though he told her he only wants kisses from his mom - yea!)

Christmas, Sticky-Style...

Ok, as promised after whining through my last post...

From new

The Sticky Family Christmas Tree - pre opening frenzy (right after Santa came)

From new

Rex the dinosaur watching AJ play his new drums...(I can't believe he got drums, either - what was I thinking??!)

From new

AJ eating the eaves off the ugliest gingerbread house I have ever seen!!

It was a really nice Christmas, just the 5 of us...(AJ insists that Rex be counted as part of the family)

Holiday aftermath...not too pretty...

Ssssshh...I'm feeling a little cranky - don't tell.

I really have nothing to complain about. We had a good Christmas -not family filled, but good. Everyone is happy (mostly), everyone is healthy (again, mostly) and I should have no real reason to complain. But the house is a mess, no one is getting along, should be doing a hundred different things - and here i sit.

Sigh

Things are just not quite right.

Hubby and I aren't fighting (today), but we aren't 'together' either, if you know what I mean. I'm sure most of you do. We need time, time to reconnect. I just don't know how right now...and to be honest - I'm too grumpy to figure anything out. AJ turns 5 in two weeks and the hubby and I haven't had a 'date' since before he was born. Just sad.

And AJ...well, lets just say I had no idea that a four year old could be so contrary. I thought nature ensured survival of the species by making little kids cute, so that parents let them live long enough to be teenagers. By then, you have invested enough in them, it's too late to cut your losses...so you keep 'em. That isn't working at my house.

I think he misses school. (I know I do)

I have to bring AJ to work with me tomorrow. That should be interesting...

Ok. I'm going to go make lunch for my family and pull my cranky head out of my butt and find something fun to do! Cleaning can wait...

Next post will be pictures of Christmas and Rex!! Finally....

Happy Holidays! All of 'em!!

Hopefully I will have time to post some photos later - but I took this opportunity in the midst of my self-induced Christmas Eve frenzy, to make sure I said Merry Christmas to the 3 or 4 of you that might actually read this!!

I do this to myself every year - today is a crazy mixture of cleaning (got the bathroom done already), cooking (Santa cookies) "crazy crafts" and the all important - making sure I have enough liquor to get through tonight's cranberry martini fueled wrapping frenzy...(nothing like hang-overs Christmas morning)

So, if I get lost in crazy craftland somewhere...

Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday...Hope all your wishes come true
(and a remote control dino under every tree!!)

Mohawk Man

That ain't exactly the cabbage patch

Friday is Mommy-son movie night at my house.

Imagine if you will.....

AJ and I snuggled in bed after Shrek was over, trying to get into sleep mode and talking about our favorite lullabies...

ME- I like 'you are my sunshine' the best. I've been singing it the longest. I sang it to you before you were born.
AJ- when I was in your tummy?
Me- yep, way back then.
AJ- but if I was this big (arms outstretched) from my right hand to my left hand...how did the doctor get me out of you?
Me-uuuuhhhhh....well...
(Instant panic. Keep in mind, I had a c-section. So I don't have to have the whole -gulp- va jay jay conversation with the poor boy, but on the other hand, you never can tell how he'll react to the whole "cut me open - yanked you out" bit either! I just wasn't prepared for that question - I thought I had years!)
Me- (deep breath) well, the DR made a whole in my belly (clever choice of words, no? "made a hole") And you came right out (butt first, but no point in mentioning that, either)
(At this point, he looked at me with something closely resembling pity)
AJ- that is not how it works. (I swear, that's just what he said) The doctor puts the water hose in your butt and the water fills and fills and goes around and around....(he's actually swirling his arms around) and then sploush...the baby comes out!! (Very pleased look on his face)
Me- out of your head?? (Horrified and yet somehow intrigued)
AJ- NO, out of your mouth (duh)
Me- oh good Lord...

Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse, the birth inducing enema or delivering that child up thru my esophagus...let's all pray we never have to find out.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Look Ma, candy!!!

Just a little sampling of what we managed to make for holiday gifts.

Let's see...hmmm...

There is chocolate dipped shortbread, peppermint bark with dark and white chocolate (the real stuff -I don't like 'bark'), my personal favorites "thin mints", chocolate dipped pretzel sticks, white chocolate "trash" and chocolate covered almonds, raisins and cherries.

Sense a theme? Yeah, me too. I think I have chocolate issues.

I also made Hot Chocolate and Cappuccino mixes, Cranberry liquor and a Bailey's Irish Cream knock off. Oh! and I made vanilla extract.

Thank God most of it went into the mail and to the school yesterday (before the latest snow storm). I was all happy about getting rid of it without eating too much - until a package arrived for me.

It was filled with...yep, you guessed it!!

Damn.

Bloggy friends are real, too

I'm not sure what this says about me...

other than my husband, my closest friends right now are women I have never met. I would never have believed it. BB (before blogging) I couldn't have imagined that I could have a close relationship with someone I didn't know face to face.

And yet, here we are.

You make me laugh, you make me cry...I care about what happens to you.
I would stick my kid in the car and drive to your house if you needed me. My spare room has your name on it, anytime you want...

I love you my friends - you know who you are - I couldn't love you more.

(Please be well, I love you)

Good Mom/Bad Mom??

AJ has autism spectrum disorder (I may have mentioned that). He isn't really fond of strangers(HUGE understatement). He doesn't like to talk to people he doesn't know (or sometimes even people he does know) and he really doesn't like them talking to him (or looking at him or...). Also, people dressed up in costume?...not so much.

So, imagine my surprise when he insisted on going to see Santa this year.

I didn't question it, I just said sure...

Every morning for the past two weeks he has run downstairs to see if Santa has come, even though I have repeatedly explained how many days are left before Christmas(including some fabulous visual aids too! Thanks Ellie).

And every night, he looks at me and says "Santa will come this time, for sure". And every night I explain how many days are left, again utilizing visual aids (thank God for Ellie)...and he just smiles at me.

It has taken me two weeks, but I finally put together all the pieces...I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner...

It all started with the dinosaur. He must have seen it on tv or something. He knows where to buy it, he knows what it does... He wants that dinosaur SO bad. So bad in fact, that he faced down Santa, shook the guy's hand and patiently (as only a kid with autism can)explained what he wanted. My husband stood in line with him and told me (a long time afterward - what's UP with that?)that the dinosaur was the only thing he asked for. He told it's name, how big it is, the color, what it does, how bad he wants it, where the tree is and where to put the box underneath.

I guess he has it all worked out.

Only problem? - we weren't going to get the dinosaur.

That's right. I said weren't. Once I realized just how badly he wanted this thing, how far out of his comfort zone he was prepared to go to get it - how could I say no? I know how hard those things are for him -

I know we aren't supposed to give them everything they ask for. I know we are supposed to discourage the accumulation of material things...but - I bought him the damned dinosaur.

I figure if I can still make his wishes come true, I should.

Does that make me a bad mom?



PS - take another peek at those Santa pics 2 posts down - gives it a whole new twist, doesn't it?

Santa acts of Kindness

We went to see Santa on Saturday (duh, see photos below). AJ had been asking to talk to Santa for awhile and assured me he was gonna sit on the Big Guy's lap. Uh huh. Sure. Turns out he has something he REALLY wants, so he's willing to face his fears.

So, off we went.

I brought my camera. The good one. I don't trust those Santa picture takers for one thing and i just KNEW my kid was not going close to Santa's lap and I felt I needed the technology to capture any unnatural angle necessary for a photo that might include the two of them.

It was some sort of Christmas miracle (or the approach of a highly publicized blizzard), but there were hardly any kids there when we arrived. Due to the highly technical nature of my camera (and my reluctance to let anyone else touch it) I manned the camera and hubby ...er...'manned' the child.

I went over to the exit, where Santa was, to find the best place to get this historic picture (I sat historic as said child has rarely allowed Santa to breathe the same air, much lest get closer than telephoto range). There was a lady in a wheelchair there, watching for her grandkids. We chitchatted a bit and she admired my camera (of course!). She was sorry she had forgotten hers, but was a little scared of the head photo elf, anyhow. (I would like to see that lady TRY to tell me I couldn't take photos without paying for hers!) I was already set to offer to take pictures for her, even before I found out they couldn't pay for the "professional" ones.

She gave me her email address and wished me "Merry Christmas" about 80 times.

It seemed like such a small thing to do. The only thing that made the whole thing take longer than 5 minutes was the two minutes it took to photo-shop her granddaughter's black eye out of one photo....

I left it in all the others, I thought it was cute! But she seemed so sad about it...

So the next issue is what happens when AJ doesn't get the gift he was brave enough to ask Santa for?

Uhhh...nice to meet you?

"Nothing personal - but this is close enough, Santa"



"By the way, the dinosaur I want is THIS big, his name is Rex and he scares people."

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You can also enter their sweepstakes to have 25,000 meals donated in your name! (not to mention $1,400 to help feed your family or others you know)
One entry per email per day.

Great cause, great outcome...

so little work!!

Go, go now!!

"Crazy Crafts"

(I thought I had this with the last post)

Running away from home...

Bet you thought I was talking about me, didn't you...I wish.
(by the way, everything does still smell funny)

Can't you just feel how he's purposefully NOT looking at me?

He had to ask me to get his coat down and unlock the garage so he could get his bike. He was SO out of here. He was halfway down the block before I could grab my coat, didn't even have a leash for the dog...Turns out he was made because I took a pencil away from him.

"Mommy, I'm leaving because of all the times you say no to me"

Halfway through "leaving you" he turns to me and says...

"Mommy, run home and get me a snack and bring it back. Ok?"

Uh, right.

Then Dad drove by and everyone was all happy again. Except me. He did explain to Dad how I had him doing "crazy crafts" all day. And yes, those were his quotes that he threw in. Can they do that when they are four? Air quotes?

I think if I just drink a lot, a whole lot, I won't notice the smell so much.

or...I just won't care...either way...

sniff, sniff...is that me?

not too stiNky...

Sorry for the poor quality cell phone photo, this child is an advertiser's wet dream.

He has been sick for 4 days. But, he's obviously a little reserve energy to push this lovely holiday snow globe. (only $9.99 while supplies last - I'll throw in the kid for free - not)

As he is getting better, he has spread his insidious sinus cooties right over into my brain. As usual. (My boss always says that AJ gets a cold for 10 minutes and makes me sick for 10 days)

The odd thing is -

Other than an incredibly bad sinus headache (yeah, the usual headache has turned sinus...great) the only other symptom I have is this really odd smokey odor. But it never goes away. Ever.

I smelled it in the living room last night, no fires.

In bed? and still, no fires, none at all (even the good kind)

at work...

in the car...

at the grocery store...

check, check, check and check.

I hate this. If I had to smell something all the time, it would NOT be this burning soggy newspaper smell...ugh.

Maybe I need some nose deodorant...

Tagged!

Apparently, loath to be the only newbie (that's what she said) trying to figure out getting 'tagged" and then passing it on...Candice at Life According to Candice, who cracks me up, daily - decided to tag me to see if I could figure it out, too. There's just so much pressure...

My assignment, should I choose to accept it (choose? as if she wouldn't kick my butt if I didn't) is to give my tagger a little link love (done), share seven strange things about myself and then tag seven other people, with links and making sure to leave them comments to tell them they have been tagged tooo...whew!

There had better be some drinks with little umbrellas, when I'm done!


1. My dad teaches at a small, private college in Minnesota. When I was in the 8th or 9th grade, we moved onto campus and into a dorm. My parents were Head Residents - "in charge" of all the students. We lived in the dorms until I graduated high school (and went away to live in my own dorm, thanks Dad). Everybody at that school knew my dad and I never got away with a single damn thing. My nickname was "shotgun" You shouldn't need an explanation...

2. I got my first job at that college...in the food service. I worked, illegally, for $2.00 and hour. I blame every single restaurant job I have had since then on that job (thanks, Ma Young). Not to mention my bad eating habits (imagine 4 gallon bowls of whipped cream and endless bins of chocolate chip cookies...)

3. My dad taught me to always know exactly what I was drinking. No fru-fru drinks for this girl. Gimme a beer and a shot of whiskey, or a very dry Bombay martini... (not that I would ever turn down a drink with an umbrella (or any drink). After-all, the days of people trying to sneak more alcohol in my drinks is long gone, right Dad?)

4. I had never changed a baby diaper until my son was born (ok, odds are there had to be one - somewhere...but I swear I can't think of a single time). How wrong was it that I had to go back and add "baby'?

5. I had never been to a Walmart until I moved here to Oregon in 2000.

6. At 5'7" and 115 pounds (20 years ago people, its not bragging!) I played women's ice hockey for the University of Minnesota. Yes, I got the crap beat out of me on a daily basis (mostly by my own teamates).

7. My husband just weighed in and "suggested" that I confess my inability to correctly replace the lid to anything. Evidently, he confused "interesting" and "quirky" with annoying and irrelevant.

No matter, that's seven and I am done!!

Now, who to torture, I mean TAG next...Seven people, huh...Do I even know seven people??

How about -

another Candace at My our Sons...and a Husband (sweet chicky, great mom and has the best ideas)

CC at If I Only Had Super Powers (I learn something from her everyday, everyday! She's fab, funny and marvelous)

Elle and Stacy at Blue Monkey Butt ( LOVE the name and those sisters are FUNNY! I never wanted a sister before them - they alternately scare and fascinate me)

Domestic Accident (I feel so much in common with her, although her dramas are much funnier than mine and she handles everything much better!)

Outnumbered Two to One (I just started reading her blog and she's wonderful. Those kids are stinkin' cute, too)

Tabitha at Fresh Mommy (her photographs, her prose, her little details... damn, I hate her! kidding I wish I were her!)

Jenna at Kid Appeal (she has incredible food knowledge and amazing ideas to get your kids to try new things - oh, great recipes too)

I was gonna tag Deb at Missives From Suburbia, but she's like 9 1/2 months pregnant and I didn't want her to kill me! She wrote this really funny post that was so close to something that happened to me while I was pregnant, but she was so much more clever!


Whew

Merry Christmas!

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Not too happy...

Come on, you know you want to do it sometimes too!

Stealing Home

I know.

I'm back to pictures of my son.

What can I say? He's stinkin' cute!

Actually, he sick and sleeping next to me right now - so he's on my mind...

The photos above are from about 2 1/2 years ago. We were at a local grade school, playing in their field. Now, I love baseball. That year I bought the baseball package so there was almost always a game on the tv. I hadn't realized that he paid that much attention, but you can see the proof. My little base runner...

I cheered for him - running those bases...it was hard. He was having real motor control issues at that point. He never threw himself around like you see other kids do, he didn't run and shriek with laughter... but he smiled and smiled...

I love baseball...

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

See! Not child related!

I don't have issues...who has issues...? I thought I would post a photo that was not related to "he who shall remain nameless"

Pretyy, pretty flowers....

I'm so lame...

Wordful Wednesday

This happy guy is 11 months old, that was 4 Christmas's ago...dayam. These are his Christmas jammies and he looked like this most of the time. He was such a happy, smiling baby. He is holding onto a piece of cardboard we had to put behind the TV to keep him from pulling out all the cords. He was already trying to unlock and open everything he could reach!

I won't tell you what I had to go thru to get both of these in one post! I finally got it done and realized I put in the wrong photo. So, that is the 5th photo, not the 6th. Does that mean I fail? Cuz, I am not changing it!








It so happens that the 6th picture folder on my computer is labeled 2004 and the 6th folder in there is Movies and the 6th file is this one. It's tiny and it's grainy...but, interestingly enough, it had Auntie Lyn's voice in it (see previous posts). It was really nice to watch again, it's been so long... I took this with my very first digital camera, way back in the day when I almost had to take out a loan to get one.

Side note - It's interesting to go back and watch video taken before any of his autism symptoms began to show. He didn't babble this much when he was two...


You know, I do have photos on my computer that have nothing to do with my kid.
Promise.
Really, I do! (you believe me, don't you?)
Come on, you know he isn't all I ever talk about....
he isn't...
not really...I mean I post about food, too...