Before Childbirth Ruined My Boobs...

I used to be a good drinker. Hubby and I would go out on a Friday night and I could stay out for hours; drinking, playing pool - actually talking to people. Before that, when I was working full time, I could drink all night and get right up the next morning and go to work again. It wasn't so much that I could drink a huge amount (well...sometimes) but I knew how to pace myself, I just knew how to drink.

Flash forward to this Saturday night. Date night with hubby in the garage (I know,,,SO romantic). We play pool, have drinks and I let him pretend to pick me up (just kidding, we only did that once. Ok, twice) My point is...and I'm getting there...I open a beer and I drink it. No really, just stand there, holding it and drink the whole thing. Not in a beer bong/shotgun kind of way, but just sort of drink after drink after -"hey, where did the beer go" kind of way. Needless to say, it takes no time at all to get loaded.

Granted, that usually makes things pretty fun (or funny -depending on your point of view), but when we put junior to bed at 8 and I'm passing out at 9:30? Not so much fun...sigh. And I won't even get in to the hangover I had this morning...ugly.

You know, I used to be good at a lot of things...

I used to be really good at talking to people and listening to people (and by people, I mean people over 5 years old.). I used to have a lot of friends...

I do have internet friends, don't I? And ya'll really are my friends, right? You would have told me that having a baby (at 38) would pretty much permanently ruin my body, right?

Cuz, you know what? Those B*&%$s never warned me. Seriously. I was all, "why are my feet getting so big?" I totally thought they went back to the old size. Not.
And the boobs. Really, the boob thing hurt the worst. It was my own fault. Hubris. That damned pride thing. God has a warped sense of humor and he knows just where to push the buttons. I will admit I was overly proud of the boobies.

I used to be able to hold up a sweater pretty well. You will have to take my word for it, that it was a really nice rack. Unfortunately, they went from a firm, perky C to a Double D in about a week. Ouch. Really, really ouch. And again...not back to the old size. Not even close. And worse, I didn't even get to breast feed. Totally wasted.

It isn't like I would go back and NOT be pregnant, not really...

No, I wouldn't...kidding...Ha Ha...not for some silly ole boobs...no, no...that's crazy talk...

Oh hell, I wouldn't. But it is fun to think about.

Anything you used to be good at? Or ruined parts? Please tell me I'm not the only one...!