Friday, April 24, 2009

Shhh...pretend like we're not talking...somebody HELP me!!!

Something HAS to be done!

I am cowering in the spare room, writing this on my phone because every time I pick up my laptop he says "oh. Are you going to do that NOW? I thought we would...". And then he comes up with something new. For us to do. Together.

Seriously. Together. Every. Thing.

God.

I love the man, really I do. But he waits for me to get home from work so we can have lunch together and then wants to know "what's next?". Last night when I was supposed to be blogging and watching Survivor, I was baking a cake. Baking a cake...

I just got comfy on the couch with my laptop and the remote, finally ready to do MY thing for a change...and this voice...

"Let's bake something. A cake."
I know what you're thinking. Most of the time, in my world, if someone says "we" or "let's" it means me. Not anymore. So, there I was, 8:30 last night, baking a German Chocolate Cake with my husband. Together, from scratch...sigh...

(Like I need more damned chocolate in this house)

And then - and then...he wanted...

He wanted...he expected to go to bed together and have sex. Together. Without blogging!!

I KNOW!! Quelle horreur!! See! I'm distraught. I'm speaking in tongues...sob...

And then today, we spent the whole damned day together. Rototilling the freaking garden, cooking dinner, doing dishes - together.

I tried to talk to him, I tried reason...I mean he shouldn't be so selfish, what about the children, think of him! What must he be thinking?

What would Oprah say?

Oh God, I can hear him coming...act casual...

(send help...I miss you guys)

He's got to find a job!
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

TwitThis

at 8:27 PM

12 love letters:

  1. aawww he loves you!

    but we love you too DAMMIT!!

    no sex for you! only blogging!

    ;)
    ReplyDelete
  2. HA HA HA !! I LOVE THIS POST!! Girl, this really cracks me up!! I get a little embarrassed sometimes if my dude finds me with the laptop at an odd time...like I say I'm going to go to bed and I'm really just hiding up in my room with my laptop but he ALWAYS says "It's cool honey....blog away!" So...I guess it's just me....I feel guilty for no real reason....

    ...but about this cake problem of yours....it's serious. I have no real suggestion for you....he loves you...he likes German chocolate cake and sex. Sounds good on paper....now you just need to get HIM hooked on blogging or twitter or something!!!

    :-)
    ReplyDelete
  3. cake and sex. hmmm. c'est domage.
    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahaha! That's great.
    You could solve the cake thing real easily.... go RAW!
    ReplyDelete
  5. Tee hee! My hubs calls my computer "the other man".
    ReplyDelete
  6. At least you had the opportunity to work the cake off after eating it.

    Bow chicka wow woooow!
    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, I feel your pain. My hubby just had a whole week off and it was...quite an adjustment. At least he was feeling like he was on vacation and could do stuff by himself - your husband must be feeling a little at odds without a job. Hope help arrives soon!
    ReplyDelete
  8. This is why I do not encourage my husband to "work at home." We do not do well together for extended periods of time. To say that my marriage is strong enough to withstand what you are going through would be a lie.

    Good luck, my friend. I will follow you on Twitter, if needed, in order to stay updated.

    Stay strong.

    Stay away from the bedroom.

    Say you are going to the grocery store and then blog from wi-fi hotspots if absolutely necessary.

    -Francesca
    ReplyDelete
  9. OMG, girl... you know what would make this post even better? You video taping yourself Blair Witch Style from your closet.

    You win the Flip, my dear. :)
    ReplyDelete
  10. You need errands to run. Many, many errands to run.
    ReplyDelete
  11. Isn't it funny how some days you would do just about anything for your hubby to instigate spending lots of time together, but when it really comes down to it, it's not healthy for it to happen that often. Good luck with the hubby....my hubby and I would have driven eachother nuts by now.
    ReplyDelete
  12. Bwhahahahaha!!!!!! Do things together? That's so "I've been married less than 10 years"!
    ReplyDelete

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