Breathe...

Do you hold your breath in tunnels? Or is that just when you drive through cemeteries?
Oh yeah - "honk - honk"!!!

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Winnemucca, Nevada - Woo-Hoo!!

Lunch and the first flush toilet all day... And don't forget the high class casinos.
I wanted to stay, but everyone else is ready to hit the road. Next stop - Elko.

Bet you can't wait!

(You know I had to do some shopping in the discount liquor store...Rambler drank all the kahlua)
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Hold on tight!

I don't know if you can really tell from this photo - but that is a loooong way down! And no guard rails - just straight down *gulp*

Hold on to your chips, back there!
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Are we there, yet?

No.

Not even close...

Have another cookie.
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Lowell Reservoir

Ok, I had to take it thru the window, so it isn't the best photo...

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On the ROAD

Finally!!

It took longer than I thought to get everything packed up and in the van...with an extra emergency stop (***TMI alert*** for tampons and chocolate), we are finally on the road!

First leg of the trip is only 3 hours, so we'll have an easy day to get used to each other in the van.

Buckle up, y'all - we're off!
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Are you packed??

is it every computer I touch that goes bad? I had the whole post typed and 'poof'...

Anyhow, I have 45 minutes of work left -thought I had better check to see if you guys are ready to go. Packed? Snacks? Tunes? Mini liquor bottles? (that might just be me)

Just a few more reports (thanks guys, for waiting until Friday) and I.Am.Outta.Here!!!!

Throw the rest of my crap in the van, cram you guys (plus 2 cameras, video camera and laptop- just MY stuff) into the van - oh, and hubby, boy and dog... whew - we will all be SO close by the time we get there!

Who was in charge of snacks again? I'm hungry.

Oh, and in the TMI department, just got my period. Somebody better have packed chocolate...

Wait, who has the map??

New, improved and super sexy!

yeah, not me - the new computer.

And it is...it's lovely. Now that it has had everything taken off, cleaned up and put back on - it runs like a dream. My computer guy is not a Vista fan (he hates it) so I have the brand new Windows 7. Never heard of it? Me either, but damn, it's slick.

But now, I don't know what to do. I have to put all my old stuff back on and figure out the new stuff and well, post, I suppose!

I have missed you all so much, I have so many things to tell you - most importantly...

I'm leaving.

Well, leaving here, going to Utah. For a week! It should be fun and I am bringing my brand new, sexy laptop, so I'm hoping I will be posting about everything we're doing...(at least you'll get something from the Blackberry, right?)

Everything is a little crazy right now (like always) trying to throw together a last minute road trip, but I think I will have some wonderful things to share from the road!

I think most of you would LOVE to take a roadtrip with me, right? So, starting Friday, we will be presenting...

On The Road with Sticky

Photos from every stop and video until you can't stand it! The good, the bad and most assuredly, the ugly!!

Whose bringing the snacks??

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

No, really. I hope your is wonderful! I do.

We had a yard sale. Yeah, that's right, a yard sale on Memorial Day. Yippee.

But, I got a new laptop! Yay, right? "But" you're asking, "I see that this is sent from your Blackberry, again". What's up with that, Sticky?"

As well, you should ask. I bought a computer, got it home. Discovered it was brown. Took it back. (That was the ONLY reason, but the most interesting, so go with it). The next step up (why go back?) Has a 17 inch screen...what to do!

It is lovely. It really is pretty. It is a HP. It has more memory that you can shake a stick at .....and I can't make it work right.

The absolute funniest thing? I can read your blogs and comment - but it will not go to MY blog. Internet Explorer refuses to open my page and won't tell me why.

I give up.

I'm going to go pour concrete squares with my husband. And whine. A lot.

Have a nice weekend. Really.

Sticky

(PS - look out Utah, here we come! Six more days until we leave!)
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I can't make up my mind!

I did it. I bought a new computer.

I don't think I like it.

And its only because of the color.

Is that as shallow as I think it is?

*Sigh*

Also, I have only used Windows XP.

Is it me or is Vista a pain?

Help!!
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The opposite of regular (but I'm not talking about irregularity, so much)

Let's just start right out with the poop talk and get it out of the way. I searched for a word that was more the opposite of random - but got no where (no where interesting, anyhow). So I used regular, but then all I could think of were the commercials. You know the ones - they use the words 'regular' and irregularity" in those hushed, reverent tones. As if we haven't changed dispers, as if we don't know there's nothing holy about poop (well, there are some Holy Shit moments, but not quite what they were going for).

Go see Keely -she rocks


I've been jokingly threatening to steal a new computer.
This morning the local news had a story about a bunch of laptops that were stolen form an elementary school. My husband turns to me "One wasn't enough?" he says. Speechless with shock, I could only glare at him. He turned back to his coffee, took a sip and shook his head. "poor kids..."
Not funny.

My husband woke up on Sunday morning with a big smile (stop it). "I had THE best zombie dream! It was just like a movie" Seriously? I know he loves the zombie movies. I get that, I do. But that happy over spending your whole night killing rotting corpses... Should I be concerned?

School is almost over for the summer. I feel guilty because I'm sending Little Dude to summer school. I still have to work, so what else do I do? Besides, the structure helps him so much. I was thinking I would plan activities around the yard and try to get more playdates together - but what else should I do? This is his last summer before 'real school" (like he hasn't been going to school of one kind or another for a few years now) and my Mama guilt is choking me. I can remember summer vacations...I'm depriving him of that. Bad Mom.

Why won't my husband fold the towels the right way? We have been married 10 years, you can't tell me he has never noticed the towels! Who folds their towels in half the short way first? No one, thats who! (I am aware that I just totally skipped over the fact that my husband actually folds towels)
It's making me crazy.In fairness - I will add that he sat and folded laundry for a hour last night while I messed putting furniture on Craigslist. I know, what am I bitching about? It's just that after showing him how for 10 years, why can't he do it???

I have a gorgeous Kitchen Aid mixer for sale and no one wants to buy it.

We are going to have a Thai Food Fiesta for dinner this evening. Anyone want to come over?

I bought Twinkies and HoHo's yesterday. I'm having my Gramma and her sister over for lunch on Thursday. Auntie requested the Twinkies. *sigh*

Last time they came over I made beef veggie soup and fresh bread - -what goes well with Twinkie?

We built two raised beds in my yard for extra garden space this year. They don't get as much full sun as I thought they would. What happens if your tomatoes don't get enough sun? Oh and what do you do with Kale? Anyone?

God, are you tired of all of this yet?

We had a fire out on the patio this weekend. Not like the patio was on fire -but in the firepit. Anyhow, AJ wanted to know what would happen if a spark went "waaay up in the sky" and to the space shuttle and blew it up. My husband, being almost as literal minded as my kid, said "a spark would never be able to leave the atmosphere. Do you know what the atmosphere is?" Keep in mind we are snuggled up in comfy chairs, wrapped in blankets, looking up at the stars, enjoying the fire and the night. It was quiet and peaceful - dare I say even slightly romantic and magical...

My son leans over, out of the warmth of my lap, puts his elbows on the table between my hubby and I, and says "tell me more about this atmersperic thingy, Dada. What is it made out of?" From this point forward, the conversation was no longer about wishes and stars and fireflies. No more songs were sung or stories told...(but we had diagrams!)

Duuuude...

"I totally rock - do you think I'm handsome?"

If I were to be able to beg, borrow or steal buy a new laptop, does anyone have a suggestion as to what kind? Brand?

I need some advice>

I probably won't buy a Mac..but other than that - ideas?

Ideas, anyone??

My son took this photo. I don't have any idea what it could be. Any guesses?

'surviving' the weekend - the rest of the story

Did you see how I did that? Survivor - surviving...smart, huh? I know, its crazy how my mind is like a sieve steel trap. A very clever steel trap...

I'm watching Survivor right now and the end just makes me cringe - as always. So many whiny people. Damn. It's a game and it gets so ugly...so unnecessary. I can't even watch anymore..la la la, I can't hear you!

Why is this stuff so interesting? Why can't I stop watching? Our family loves to watch Survivor. We love the challenges, we love cheering for people - we just love to watch (AJ cried when Coach got voted off, strange child).

But the end..The end sucks SO bad. Everyone plays the game until the end then everyone is mad. It strangely makes me very uncomfortable when they are all mad at whoever is winning. Like it's their fault you suck.

But then again, I can't look away...it's that Jeff Probst. I just love him. He did a blog this year and he cracks me up.

So happy JT won -what a cutie...

UPDATE** Giant surprise that my computer died before I was finished writing this - and it went ahead and posted incomplete. I have just had it. I'm not even going to try to post from that thing anymore. I surrender... Anyhow - there was SO much more to go with this post and as I was just about to open myself up for a little public humiliation, in the name of learning from my experience - I figured I had better repost - ENJOY!


I'm probably going to get a lot of crap for this - but lesson learned, so you might as well hear it, right? Maybe one of you can avoid the excrutiating lesson I had to learn...

We spent the day working on the playhouse in the backyard...building hammering, drilling, lifting, carrying - you know ALL my favorite things. We are building it under our giant apple tree, so all day little twigs and moss and miscellaneous bug parts were falling on me. It was reeeaally fun It stays light so much later (all of a sudden) and so we ate dinner pretty late. Suddenly I realized that it was almost 8, no one had showered and the Survivor Finale was ready to start!

Panic!! (yes, I have a DVR - but it is a 3 hour show and I wanted to watch it last night, not today!)

I decided, in my desperation to watch my stupid reality show get my beloved child to bed on time, that if Little Man and I showered together we would save that much time (and water - I'm a conservationist, yo!)

Let me just say right now, up front - I do NOT normally shower or bathe with my five year old son. Don't yell at me. I used to. I did. He loves having company in the bath. He still asks me all the time. I'm very popular for bathtime games and stories -really.

It's actually more embarrassing I stopped doing it, not because we were getting dangerously close to that line (where ever that is -I'm never really sure)
but because showering with your child is damned hard on your self esteem!

"I love your big butt, Mama" is one of the least heartbreaking things he said to me. As soon as I got him in the shower, I knew I had made a huge mistake, but we were already committed and in I went. I won't go into all the horror and the songs he sang, (continuously) the best of which was about catching water drops off of giant boobies... the questions about growing up and being as big as me...the pointing, the laughing, the raspberries... (asking me to block the sun the water with my large body...

If he isn't scared for life - I certainly am.

The moral of the story is...
(I'm sitting here, sifting thru my brain, attempting to pick out the one most important thing I learned...it's tough)

Truthfully? My advice is remember to stop slaving helping hubby with his projects much earlier. Have a cold beer, a hot (leisurely) shower (alone, where no one mocks my any of my body parts) and watch my show while hubby bathes the kid!

That was a difficult lesson to learn and I just think if I can spare one person from repeating my horrifying experience...it will be worth it (not really).

Crash test dummy

I was trying to add to my post, because my wonderful friend Amy at Everything is fine as long as the coffee is good; found a link to a really cool zombie poster that I my husband totally needs...

But

Yeah, you guessed it. Crash.

Are you all completely sick of hearing about my computer 'issues'? Sorry, I know I've been whiney...I'll be better. I promise!

If you want to see the poster she found - check out:

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24660249

Sticky
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Bitter Betty

No, not biter, bitter.

I got this wonderful award from Tamis at A Day in the Life and her wonderful kids. They are so sweet and I think AJ and Trevor may be taking over the world together, someday!

It's a cute award and I really enjoyed reading her information and writing mine. Well, I enjoyed it the first time I wrote it.

Not so much the second or the third time. I'm just having the worst time with this computer. If it isn't shutting down on its own and deleting all my precious words, then its tricking me into accidentally deleting it all myself (and then shutting down) .

So Tamis, I am so sorry that I haven't done this award completely - but I've lost a little of my motivation after 4 try's. Thank you so much for giving it to me and I promise - as soon as I can trust this computer not to delete me again - I will get it up!! (*snort* I said' get it up...')

The other item I need to take care of is a request for an award. The fabulous CC at If I only Had Superpowers has requested the coveted Zombie Chicken award. I would just love to pass it on...so, here ya go, sweetie -


Technically you are supposed to pass it on to five others, or face the wrath of the zombie chicken....good luck.


What are all you guys doing this weekend? Will it be raining where you are? Do you have big plans or just hanging out with family? I think it's supposed to be nice here, which is great. We were given a big wooden play structure and we are going to make a super cool fort and tree house for AJ. Yay!

And sometime this weekend I'm going to erase my hard drive and re-install my operating system. Wish me luck!

Fickle

I think I've lost my American Idol mojo. Not that I didn't watch it - I just didn't care.

Do you still care? Rambler? You there?

Now, I'm still all over Survivor. I'm very excited to see if they kick crazy Coach out.

Is that as sad as it sounds? That's what I have to talk about? Reality shows? Really interesting...

I'm doing more relative inspired, crap work this weekend and someone elses crazy (fake) reality is so much more interesting than mine. (And theirs doesn't make me feel homicidal)

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Space. It's not just in the sky anymore

I'm in the middle of writing a (decent) post, but the computer keeps shutting down. Damn it.

Anyhow...I found this super cool widget - look down at the bottom of the page. Really. Go ahead. There's no trick.

Just move your mouse around in the blank spot and click to change colors.

Cool, huh? (

Just thought I would share...more soon. I hope.

Conversations...

"Mama,you like me, right?"

"Of course I do, baby."

"Really, really like me?"

"Yes. Yes, I do"

"Good. Then when I grow up, will you marry me?"

Strangely, we have had this conversation before. I don't get it, but I tried to explain again...and that when he grew up he would probably want a girl his own age, blah, blah, blah.

So he asked did I mean like the girls in his class and I said 'sure, why not.'

"Do you think they will let me marry one on one day and a different one the next day?"

Sure babe, why not...

It was Mother's Day?

Kidding. I'm kidding.

It was a working weekend for us, we drove over to the beach and helped my aunt and uncle move boxes. They just moved here from the east coast and their movers refused to deliver to their new house (long story - steep road - crappy driver).

Anyhow, we borrowed a truck, packed up some camping stuff and off we went. Its a brand new house, just gorgeous - but unfinished and lots of boxes. It was nice to be able to help them out.

AJ even cooperated and was so good - it was like a gift all in itself. We only spent about half an hour on the actual beach (today) and of course by the time we got there to sun was gone...oh well. We were there to work, right!?

I wanted to post, but cell service is AWFUL there! So computer at home, no service away...just shoot me! I didn't seem to care while the beer was flowing - but I was lonely without you all. No one else understands my obsession...

Goodnight all - I'll be at work in the morning and I can read all about you then...I can't wait, I'm sure you all got flowers and diamonds!

At least homemade cards and breakfast in bed, right?

Sticky
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Lost on the internets

To whom it may concern;

I don't know what's going on, I don't know what's happening around here, I'm lost, I'm confused, I'm lonely.

My computer is broken and I can't get online very often. It shut down 4 times tonite, in like 5 minutes...

I can read blogs on my Blackberry, but I find it very complicated to try and leave comments- mostly it doesn't work...

My husband is doing handyman jobs, which he's very good at, so he isn't as stressed. I'm relaxed on the outside, but still pretty freaked out on the inside about the whole 'no job' thing.

I feel cut off from my online friends. I'm missing what's going on and I'm missing you guys.

I'll be helping my aunt and uncle moving all weekend, so I won't be home to blog and cell phone service is spotty where they are...I think I might have a panic attack.

Everytime I get on hubby to do something now, he says "what are you gonna do, pee on me?"

And - according to me comments (squeeeee!!!) The Bloggess' husband has had the same issues! (How DO you get the smell out?)

If you were cut off from the internet, how long before you would lose your mind? What's your solution? Gimme some bloggy advice!! I'm a little twitchy...

Sticky
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Dear Abby, Heloise, Miss Manners et al

I have noticed there seem to be quite a few advice blogs going up lately (and by quite a few, I mean three in the last few weeks). What do you suppose that means?

Are there lots of people looking for advice? Needing advice, even desperate for advice?

or

Maybe there are lots of people with really good advice, just waiting for someone to ask?

I don't know.

Maybe there are just a lot of people (perhaps just me) flailing around the universe, waiting for someone to point them in the right direction. I'm always afraid to ask for advice. Afraid to put someone on the spot. You know, what if they don't have any advice? Wouldn't it be rude to just demand input about your problem? "Hey you! Tell me what to do!"

I guess in most cases, comments are advice. If you write about a problem, all your bloggy friends offer solutions. That's nice and friendly, don't you think? You throw something out there and people respond. But, I guess that puts you on the spot, right? I mean they know who you are. People can come back to your blog to see if you took their advice and hold you accountable if you don't.

"Dude, I told you to go with the blue eyeliner. The 80's are totally back...WHY didn't you listen to me...?"

or

"I told you the only way to kill the zombie was to cut off the head and now you are totally infected and I TOLD you so!" (Sorry, I have a fixation lately)


That's a ton of pressure. I suppose going to an outside source for advice would be more anonymous. I love that new Ask the Bloggess column. And I love her advice, "try peeing on the dog" is my new advice for just about everything. How could that possibly fail you. Although I suppose the advice that makes you pee your pants laughing isn't always the kind you need... (which really is too bad and makes peeing on the couch easier when you can't control your own bladder - the dog is harder to catch...)

I think it will be interesting to see the different options, the different types of advice offered. I may just have to jump from site to site and see if I can get all my issues resolved.

Cheaper than therapy, right?

Oh, I finally got my husband to start doing things without me. Things are much calmer around here now, Thanks.

(Hey - anyone know how to get pee smell out of a Lazyboy?) :)

Gotcha!!

I (finally) got the coveted (by me) Chicken Zombie Award!!

Thank You Cher, for giving me (and shutting up my whining) this wonderful award! You totally made my day! I hope I live up to the spirit of this award...

About the Award: "The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken - excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse( I TOLD you). These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all…"

Now, normally I like to disregard blog award rules. However, I am not about to risk the wrath of the Zombie Chicken. To that end, I am nominating Five amazing bloggers who will be thrilled (I'm so sure) to receive this prestigious award!

1. Keely - only because I know she will be horrified (and probably pissed at me) as she HATES Zombies, but she would be THE girl to have at your back during a chicken zombie apocalypse.

2. Candice - She rocks, mightily. I would put money on her over a zombie ANYDAY!

3. Diane - this is right up your alley, Chicky! (Besides she offered to "destroy" me when I thought I had the zombie flu)

4. Amy - Because she's my newest bloggy BBF and I luuuuv her! She would be a good zombie hunter.

And 5. FON - because I so want her to adopt me into her family...she's so cool...

Thumb wars

Writing the occasional post from my blackberry was cool. Having to write every post with my thumbs is getting me down.

The entire experience is different. Its harder to think and much harder to edit. It just really isn't the same experience...

I'm sure I must have mentioned the meeting at AJ's "new" school? The pre-kindergarten meeting where we (his future teacher, principal, counselor, case worker, district psychologist and me) were going to figure out the best way to handle AJ's "kindergarten experience"? Come up with a plan to make sure he can succeed...?

Yeah, THAT meeting.

Guess what? Turns out you aren't allowed in an elementary school during a "swine flu outbreak" when you are coughing up a lung and clutching a handful of used kleenex! And apparently canceling or postponing said meeting with its 6-8 attendees is impossible.

So...

I had to send hubby.

Yeah. That was my thought too. (And his)

I gave him a huge pep talk, a pen and a pad of paper with strict instructions to not sign anything and call if he needed to (why couldn't we just have the meeting on twitter? #ajspeeps?)

And off he went - (my brave boy)

That was one loooong hour!

And when he got home? Was he full of all the ideas tossed around? School lingo? Plans and outlines for teaching the next great dinosaur astronaut...?

Nope.

But I hear everyone is crazy impressed with how smart the boy is (that's when hubby stopped listening and signed all the papers).

(I'm having another meeting next week, I hope)

Oh yeah - for all of you who were worried - it turns out I didn't have the zombie virus OR even the swine flu. Nope, not a single brain was eaten (although, I did think mine were coming out of my ears at one point).

It is a bit of a personal letdown for me.
Now I have no use for all my zombie apocalypse parafenalia, paraphenelia er... crap! (Why doesn't blackberry know how to spell that?)

Evidently, you can't catch the zombie virus over the internets. In fact, it turns out that the only zombie thing you CAN get online is that chicken zombie award. BUT, since no one gave me one (sniff) I don't even have that... Sigh...

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PS - my hubby totally laughed at me while I was typing this (with my poor thumbs).

Through the pain and cramping, I snarled - "I'm writing about you being such a dumbass!"

and he laughed - "it's your thumbs"

I hate when he's right.

Eight reasons to read this...

I got tagged (like a giant killer whale) for a meme a couple weeks ago. Lana at The Kids did What?! caught me with this one...so enjoy -

8 Things I am looking forward to...

* Summer. I am sick to death of being cold and wet. Mostly wet.
* Hubby getting a job - any job. Ok, not any job...something that won't make him crazy.
* New juicer getting here. We finally spent a Christmas gift certificate. I love juice.
* Being able to breathe again, or at least relieving some of the pressure in my head.
* Having a computer that actually works (big dream, no help in sight)
* Summer BBQ's and camping (not likely this summer, but still)
* Going to the beach.

8 Things I did yesterday...

* Showered (Not. I was sick, alright?!)
* watched really bad tv.
* Laid on the couch.
* Blew my nose and coughed up a lung (or two)
* Cursed my husband and my son (under my breath) for being healthy and loud and not making me feel any better
* Considered drilling a hole in my head
* Considered drilling a hole in my husbands head
* Realized there is no longer a life insurance policy on husband, since layoff. Damn.

8 Things I wish I could do...

* Win the lottery (no doubt!)
* lose 30 pounds
* sleep past 7am, sometime, anytime...please????
* Let go. Just let go of all the shit in my brain...
* Cook all the food I would like to without ever worrying about the cost of ingredients.
* Have all of my family over for dinner
* Take better pictures.
* Take my family on vacation. (just a little one, we aren't picky)

8 Shows I watch...

* House
* American Idol
* Survivor
* Burn Notice
* Saving Grace
* Word World
* Daily Show
* Today Show

If this looks interesting, please tag yourself - I hate to pressure to anyone.

Flash me Friday...Huh? Oh. Sorry, FlashBACK Friday

not too tighty...not too whitey??? (posted 08/26/08)

Close your eyes and picture this -

4 year old boy, white briefs pulled so far up his butt, it looks like a thong...
running back and forth through the living room, holding the aforementioned butt...
yelling...
"help, help - something's stuck in my bum"

See, this is what happens when you laugh. My mom always warned me that laughing at the crazy things he does will only encourage him. Can I say how much I HATE when she's right?

If you laugh once, he will repeat whatever it was over and over and over...

One little wedgie...God help me.