why are we so stupid?

We all want love.
We all want to be loved.
To be wanted, adored, needed...desired...
We understand it.
We recognize that we aren't reasonable about it, we know we open ourselves up for hurt in our quest for find happiness...

and yet...

and yet - it still comes back and bites us in the ass.

For those of you freaking out because I'm married - I know, I know - I'm not talking about myself...

I have a friend ( yes, very funny, I know! I'm STILL not talking about me) and she's having a really hard time. Yes, she knows this man was no good for her. yes, she knows (somewhere deep, deep inside) that he is a giant piece of shit and in no way worthy of her tears and angst...

She knows, because we all told her -and she's not stupid - she knows and yet she hurts and it kills all of us that we have to sit back and watch her suffer.

Why do we torture ourselves? Why do we hurt ourselves over people who, not only aren't worth it, but we know are bad for us? There isn't anything I can say to my friend to make her feel better, except to tell her that we love her, that she's worthy of better...and still she cries.

She is so afraid (after 16 years of a horrible, awful marriage) that no one will ever love her for herself. It's so sad that we allow these small, narrow-minded, self-absorbed fuckers (excuse my language) to make us feel less that we are - less that we deserve...

Here's to all my girlfriends - to every woman who has ever let a crappy man make her feel less than what she is and has suffered for someone else's crap.

I love you Sweetie...You rock!